Growing up is hard. As parents, watching our children struggle through social challenges can be heartbreaking. But what if these struggles are more than just normal childhood experiences? What if they’re actually part of a spiritual battle?
When Good Things Start Happening, Opposition Often Follows
I recently witnessed this with my 10-year-old daughter. After years of struggling to find and maintain friendships, she finally found her place in a trio of “best friends”. For several wonderful months, they were inseparable in her eyes. More excitingly, she had become passionate about inviting friends to church. We had reached the point where we were going to need two cars to pick all the kids up.
Then suddenly, everything changed. The trio became a duo. A few weeks later, after accidentally breaking a confidence, she found herself completely alone on the playground. From flying high with friends and faith to feeling utterly defeated in just weeks.
This rapid turnaround made me wonder this morning if we were experiencing spiritual warfare.
Understanding Spiritual Warfare in Children’s Lives
In 2 Corinthians 10, the Apostle Paul reminds us that “though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.”
This passage reveals an important truth: the battles our children face aren’t just social or emotional—they’re spiritual. And the timing of my daughter’s setbacks—right when she was most excited about sharing her growing faith—makes me wonder if there’s more happening beneath the surface.
How the Enemy Works in Children’s Lives
The enemy works strategically with our children. While we often worry about obvious negative influences, sometimes Satan’s approach is more subtle. He may:
- Keep our children away from God’s Word
- Keep parents too busy and distracted to provide proper spiritual guidance
- Strengthen natural tendencies toward laziness or complacency
- Use media to slowly convince children that truth is relative, not absolute
- Persuade them that their godly influence is irrelevant or even offensive
- Convince them they can’t make a difference
These tactics are particularly effective with children who are already struggling with rejection or isolation. When a child who was excited about sharing their faith suddenly faces social rejection, it can shake their confidence not just in friendships but in their faith journey too.
Powerful Ways to Pray for Our Children
1. Pray for Our Own Influence First
Lord, forgive us for the times we’ve been too distracted to model a strong relationship with You. Help us understand the power of our influence in our children’s lives and prioritize being both directly and indirectly available to offer the godly guidance they need.
2. Pray for Protection from Negative Influences
Father, while we pray that our children would be protected from harmful influences, we also ask that You would surround them with friendships and mentors who demonstrate what an authentic relationship with You looks like.
3. Pray for Them to Become Influencers
God, raise our children to be influencers of their generation. Fill their hearts with Your truth so abundantly that it naturally overflows to everyone they meet.
4. Pray Against Complacency
Lord, don’t allow our children to become lazy or complacent in their faith. Help them understand that even a single light makes a difference in darkness, and give them courage to stand for truth even when it’s unpopular.
5. Pray for Resilience During Rejection
Father, when my child faces rejection, remind them that You have never rejected them. Help them find their identity in You rather than in the changing opinions of peers.
Practical Advice for Parents in the Battle
1. Use Life’s Disappointments as Teaching Moments
When my daughter was devastated about losing her friends, I wanted to shield her from pain. But instead, I’m trying to help her understand that God puts people in our lives for reasons (short periods) and seasons (longer periods), with very few relationships lasting a lifetime.
2. Help Children Build Their Identity in Christ
When children build their identity on shifting friendships, they’re setting themselves up for heartbreak. Help them understand their worth comes from being a child of God—something that never changes regardless of who plays with them during recess.
3. Teach Them About Their Spiritual Weapons
Just as Paul wrote, “the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power.” Teach your children about prayer, speaking truth, trusting God, using Scripture, and displaying the fruit of the Spirit as powerful tools against attacks.
4. Model Forgiveness and Reconciliation
My daughter is learning the hard lesson of apologizing after breaking a confidence. Though her friend may not trust her immediately, we’re praying for forgiveness and teaching her that owning mistakes is part of spiritual growth.
5. Stay Alert to Spiritual Patterns
Pay attention to timing. When your child suddenly faces unusual opposition right after spiritual growth or enthusiasm about their faith, recognize this may be more than coincidence.
The Bigger Battle
Looking back, I see how the enemy used similar tactics in my own childhood. Like my daughter, I experienced painful social rejection in sixth grade, complete with cruel notes and threats daily in my locker. Those wounds took years to heal.
But here’s the hope: what the enemy means for harm, God can use for good. Those painful experiences ultimately led me to find my true identity in Christ rather than in the opinions of others.
Our children’s friendship struggles aren’t just social problems—they’re spiritual battlegrounds where their faith and character are being formed. By recognizing the spiritual dimension of these challenges, we can better equip them with the divine weapons they need.
Remember Paul’s powerful words: “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Let’s help our children learn to take their painful thoughts captive and replace them with God’s truth about who they are and whose they are.
The battle is real, but so is God—and He has already won the war.
