Have you ever noticed how perfect God’s timing can be? Just yesterday, my daughter came to me struggling with friendship issues (ah, the complex social world of 10-year-olds), and when I opened my Bible during the pastor’s sermon on 1 Corinthians 15, I stumbled upon notes from a previous message focused specifically on verse 33: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.'”
This verse packs so much wisdom into so few words. Let’s unpack what this means for our relationships and how we can both recognize unhealthy influences and avoid becoming one ourselves.
The Impact of Our Relationships
Unhealthy relationships are like a virus—they don’t stay contained but spread to infect our conversations, thoughts, and eventually lead us to compromise our values. The people we spend time with shape us more than we often realize.
The foundation of a healthy spiritual life isn’t complicated: it’s about nurturing healthy relationships with God and with others. When Jesus transforms your life, that transformation should naturally affect your friendships and who you allow to influence you.
Four Types of People to Watch For (And Not Become)
1. The Dictators
How to recognize them:
- They try to control your decisions rather than encouraging you to follow Jesus
- They create tension when you want to serve others
- They attempt to limit who you can talk to, especially about faith
- They react negatively when other positive influences enter your life
Don’t become someone who:
- Makes friends feel they need your permission to pursue their calling
- Gets jealous when friends develop other meaningful relationships
- Creates guilt trips when friends choose to serve or follow God’s direction
- Needs to be the central influence in someone else’s life
2. The Distractors
How to recognize them:
- They consistently pull your attention away from what God has called you to do
- They invite you to activities that compromise your values
- They seem annoyed when you prioritize spiritual growth
- They make you feel like you’re missing out by following your convictions
Don’t become someone who:
- Tempts friends away from their spiritual commitments
- Makes others feel boring or judgmental for having boundaries
- Persistently tries to convince friends to “live a little” at the expense of their values
- Distracts others from their purpose just to have company in your own distractions
3. The Discouragers
How to recognize them:
- They focus on what could go wrong rather than what God could do
- They highlight your past failures when you share new dreams
- They rarely celebrate your spiritual victories
- They seem to drain your faith energy after spending time with them
Don’t become someone who:
- Shoots down others’ God-given dreams
- Reminds people of their limitations instead of God’s power
- Shares others’ defeats as cautionary tales rather than praying for them
- Spreads pessimism disguised as “being realistic”
4. The Demeaning
How to recognize them:
- They use “just joking” as cover for putting you down
- They highlight your flaws in front of others
- They disguise criticism as “honesty” or “tough love”
- Their comments make you question your worth or identity in Christ
Don’t become someone who:
- Uses humor at others’ expense
- Tears others down to feel better about yourself
- Labels or nicknames others based on their weaknesses
- Makes comments that could cause someone to question their value to God
Being the Friend You’d Want to Have
Instead of these toxic traits, we can choose to be:
- Encouragers who point others toward Jesus and remind them of who they are in Him
- Supporters who celebrate when friends follow God’s calling
- Truth-tellers who speak life-giving truth with genuine love
- Freedom-givers who allow friends to follow God’s direction without manipulation
The beautiful thing about following this wisdom is that it works both ways—it helps us recognize unhealthy influences and prevents us from becoming that toxic influence in someone else’s life.
Remember, the goal isn’t isolation or perfectionism in friendship. We all have moments of being less than ideal friends. The goal is awareness and growth, creating relationships that help us become more like Jesus rather than pulling us away from Him.
What kind of friend are you today? And what kind of friends are you allowing to shape your life?
