Yesterday as I picked my kiddo up from a church event, I could tell she was doing everything she could not to cry.
“What’s wrong kiddo?” I asked.
“You forgot to remind me to wear camo tonight, so I didn’t get ice cream,” she said.
“You didn’t get ice cream because you didn’t wear camo, but other kids got ice cream,” I asked, a bit confused.
“Yes. They got tickets (coupons) to go get ice cream because they wore camo, and I didn’t. I really wanted ice cream,” she said.
As we climbed into the car, tears started to fall.
“The friend I invited was disappointed that we only played one round of the game,” she continued. “And he didn’t get ice cream either. I don’t think my friend will come back.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“He really came because he wanted to play Nerf Wars. We both thought we would get to play a lot. But we didn’t get to. We played one round,” she said, and the tears came again.
“Sorry kiddo. There were a lot of kids tonight and only 75 minutes to play. I bet they did the best they could,” I said.
“I think we could have played another round if they wouldn’t have made us stop to eat nachos with cold cheese on them. They didn’t taste good, so I didn’t eat mine,” she said.
“Did you have to pay for the food, or was it a gift?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“A gift,” she responded.
“So someone spent a lot of time planning a fun evening for you. Someone gave you a gift of free food. And all you can focus on is what you didn’t get (the ice cream coupon), what you didn’t like (the food), and what disappointed you (the unmet expectation that you played less games than you thought you’d play), right?” I asked.
There was a pause.
“Disappointment is part of life, but so is the ability to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Why did you invite your friend to church tonight?” I asked.
“To play Nerf Wars,” she responded.
“Hmmmm,” I said.
“Do you understand that Nerf Wars wasn’t the reason you came to church tonight, and it wasn’t the reason to invite someone to church? Nerf Wars was simply a vehicle to start a conversation that may bring more kids to your Grow Class who maybe haven’t heard about Jesus and give them an opportunity to hear about Him,” I said.
“It is?” she asked.
“Yep. Once a month there’s a special event designed to make it easier for you to hand out invitations for kids to come to church. And you do such a great job. No matter how many times you hear their parents won’t bring them each month, you still ask for 20 invitations and encourage your friends to come. And you have had 2 kids come now. God is using you to introduce other kids to His story. Isn’t that awesome?” I asked.
“I guess,” she said. “My friends don’t come back though.”
“Besides the monthly fun events, do you invite them to come back?” I asked.
“Not really … no,” she said.
“Don’t feel bad kiddo. I don’t do a good job inviting my friends to come either,” I said. “Maybe we can both ask Jesus to help us with that.”
“Yeah,” she said.
“And here’s the cool thing about tonight. Even though it didn’t go the way you wanted it to go, you and your friend got to hear a Bible story, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Yes, it was the story where the son asks his dad for all his money early (Parable of the Prodigal Son). We have studied it before. You know that story, right?” she asked.
“I sure do. It’s from the book of Luke. What did it teach you about life?”
“Forgiveness. We were taught to forgive,” she said.
“Wow! It may not seem like it to you right now, but learning to forgive is one of the best gifts you will ever give yourself. And tonight you got to give the lesson of that as a gift to a friend because you invited him to your Grow Class. You gave that gift to a friend who may never have ever heard about Jesus, too. And maybe because of you, Jesus will now be able to use that gift to help your friend. And I know you don’t understand it now, but that’s worth more than ice cream, nachos, and Nerf. To be honest kiddo, I am glad you didn’t play another round because if you had, you and your friend both would have missed out on the real reason we go to church on Wednesday nights. You would have missed that lesson,” I said.
“I guess,” she said.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) reminds us, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
Sometimes life doesn’t meet our expectations, but God’s plan is always bigger than our own plans for how life should go.