Finding Worth Beyond Busyness: A Workaholic’s Journey to Rest

I’ve been thinking a lot about worth and busyness lately. This week I started reading “The Search for Significance” by Robert S. McGee. Right from the start, it opens with Psalm 139:23-24 – a verse I’ve prayed so many times:

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

I found myself nodding along as I read about Brad and Lisa in the first chapter. That underlined section? It might as well have been written about me. Brad’s constant “When this big case is over, the pressure will be off” sounds exactly like the promises I make to myself and my family.

The Confession of a Workaholic

I am a workaholic. I’ve always been a workaholic. And just when I think I’m doing better… I realize I’m not.

You’d think that finally having an hourly job after 20 years of salaried positions would help. For the first time in forever, I can’t take work home. I can’t stay late. I’m a coordinator instead of a manager or director. On paper, it’s refreshing.

But here I am, finding other ways to fill every moment with productivity.

Finding New Ways to Stay Busy

For the past two months, I’ve poured countless hours into a training class that I only deliver once or twice a year and a new website related to it. I proudly wrote and published my first children’s book (which is amazing, even if my mom and daughter are the only ones to ever read it!), took on a part-time job, AND started helping a non-profit rebuild their website. For extra fun, I also decided to learn piano.

Matthew 11:28-30 keeps coming to mind:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Why is it so hard to accept this invitation?

Being Comes Before Doing

I think about Ephesians 2:10, which reminds me that “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

The order matters here – I am God’s masterpiece FIRST. The doing comes after the being.

Reading about Brad “continually solving other people’s problems but never those of his own family” was like looking in a mirror. I wonder how many important moments I’ve missed while busying myself with tasks that seem so important in the moment.

The Challenge of Rest

Isaiah 30:15 has been challenging me lately:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.”

The truth is, it’s easier to stay busy than to sit with myself and examine why I feel this constant need to achieve. Is my worth really tied to my productivity? Do I believe people love me more when I accomplish more? Am I looking for approval from someone or something other than God?

As I continue this study, I’m praying God will help me untangle my identity from my achievements. I know I have to find my significance in who I am in Christ, not in what I do.

An Invitation to Rest

Maybe you’re like me, filling every spare moment with something “productive.” If so, can I invite you to join me in asking: What might happen if we actually allowed ourselves to rest? To be still? To trust that our worth comes from being loved by God, not from our busy calendars?

Lord, help me learn that sometimes the most spiritual thing I can do is absolutely nothing.