In my daughter’s Bible recently, I found a familiar sight: a brightly colored flyer for an upcoming church event. At the bottom, in cheerful text, were the words “Remember to bring a friend to be a part of our special friend contest!” As I stood there in my kitchen, that simple phrase triggered a profound reflection on how we approach evangelism in modern church culture, particularly with our children.
The Hidden Challenge in Our Church Invitations
There’s a subtle but significant distinction we often overlook in our enthusiasm to grow our churches: the difference between inviting people to church and inviting them to Jesus. While both have their place, we must be careful not to let our focus on increasing church attendance overshadow our primary mission of introducing people to Christ.
When we emphasize bringing friends to events, contests, and themed services, we risk reducing the profound message of Christianity to mere entertainment or social gathering. This approach, while well-intentioned, can inadvertently shift our children’s understanding of evangelism from sharing the transformative message of Jesus to simply recruiting attendees for church events.
A Personal Journey: Marketing vs. Ministry
This topic hits particularly close to home for me. During my two-year tenure as a church communications manager, I faced a challenging moment when one of our pastors told me, “Marketing isn’t biblical. Your job isn’t biblical.” Those words, though initially difficult to hear, sparked a deep examination of how we present the church to the world.
The conversation highlighted an important truth: there’s a fine line between strategic outreach and turning the church into a product to be sold. This realization became even more apparent when my daughter shared a story about receiving an invitation from a friend at school – not to a special event or themed night, but simply to come and learn about Jesus. The better part, when the girl gave it to her, she shared part of her testimony with my daughter.
The Scripture’s Perspective
The Bible offers clear guidance about encouraging and building up one another in faith. As written in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV):
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
This verse emphasizes genuine relationship-building and spiritual encouragement rather than promotional tactics or attendance-driven initiatives.
Rethinking Our Approach to Church Invitations
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with special events or themed nights for kids ministry, we need to ensure these tools serve our primary mission rather than overshadow it. Here are some ways I think we can refocus our approach:
1. Emphasize the Why Before the What
When teaching children about inviting friends to church, we should start with why it matters. Help them understand that sharing their faith isn’t about winning a contest or having the most friends attend an event – it’s about sharing God’s love and the transformative power of a relationship with Jesus.
2. Focus on Authentic Relationships
Instead of treating friend invitations as a numbers game, encourage children to build genuine friendships and naturally share their faith experiences. I think this approach aligns more closely with Jesus’s model of ministry, which prioritized authentic connections over crowd-gathering tactics.
3. Teach Prayer as the Foundation
Rather than jumping straight to invitation strategies, teach children to pray for their friends by name. This practice helps them understand that true evangelism begins with caring deeply about others’ spiritual well-being. Prayer shifts the focus from attendance metrics to genuine spiritual concern for others.
4. Equip for Conversations About Jesus
While it’s easier to hand out event flyers, we should also equip our children (and adults) with the confidence and knowledge to share their faith through personal conversations. This might include teaching them:
- How to share their own experiences with Jesus
- Simple ways to explain what they believe
- How to listen and respond to friends’ questions about faith
5. Make Follow-up Meaningful
When friends do attend church, the follow-up shouldn’t focus solely on getting them to return to the next event. Instead, encourage and equip kids (and adults) with ways to have meaningful conversations about what they experienced, their questions about faith, and their spiritual journey.
Finding the Balance
The reality is that church events and programs can serve as valuable entry points for people to encounter Jesus. The issue isn’t with having these programs – it’s with allowing them to become the primary focus of our outreach efforts. Some alternative ideas might include:
- Before planning the next friend contest, ask: “How does this help children share Jesus with their friends?”
- When creating invitations, include space for personal messages about what church means to the inviter
- Train children to share their own stories of faith alongside event information
- Celebrate stories of spiritual conversations as much (if not more) as attendance numbers
The Path Forward
As we evaluate the approaches we use to help our kids live out the Great Commission, I think there are a few questions we have to reflect on:
- Are we teaching our children to be event promoters or disciples?
- Do our incentives and contests point people toward Jesus or just toward our church programs?
- How can we better equip ourselves and our kids to share their faith naturally and authentically?
The goal isn’t to eliminate special events or stop encouraging church attendance. Rather, it’s to ensure these tools serve their proper role in the larger mission of introducing people to Jesus Christ.
Conclusion: Beyond the Invitation
My daughter’s experience with her friend’s simple invitation to “come and learn about Jesus” serves as a powerful reminder of what truly matters. While themed nights and special events have their place, they should never overshadow the primary invitation – the invitation to know Jesus.
As church leaders, parents, and members of the body of Christ, we must carefully consider how our methods align with our mission. Are we creating a culture that emphasizes bringing friends to church, or are we building disciples who naturally share Jesus with others?
The answer to this question will shape not only our outreach strategies but also the next generation’s understanding of what it means to share their faith. Let’s ensure we’re teaching them to invite others not just to our church buildings, but to the transformative relationship with Jesus that makes church meaningful in the first place.