Have you ever skipped a family gathering or told a friend you couldn’t make it to their special event because work felt more important? Maybe it was overtime, a looming deadline, or just the pressure to keep climbing the ladder. I’ve been there.
For the first eight years of my marriage and motherhood, I said “yes” to work more times than I care to admit. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to—chasing the “American Dream.” But that dream came at a cost I wasn’t prepared to pay. The time I missed with my loved ones are moments I can never get back.
Here’s the hard truth I’ve learned: Every time we say no to the things that matter most—like time with family, friends, or God—we’re really saying yes to what the world has told us is more important. But is it?
When we align our lives with God’s priorities instead of the world’s, everything changes. Our relationships thrive, our faith deepens, and we start to see success in a whole new way. So today, let’s talk about how to stop chasing what others say matters and start focusing on what truly does.
1. The Subtle Trap of Work-First Living
There was a time in my life when my calendar was packed with community events, classes to teach, and meetings to attend. From March to October, I was gone nearly every weekend. I justified it by telling myself it was all for my family’s future, but the reality was far different.
I missed my child’s sporting events and her very first school awards ceremony—moments I can never get back. At the time, I told myself work came first because I was chasing some arbitrary goal. I worked six days a week for a salary based on five, and even when I was home, I was busy prepping for the next event. Sure, my daughter came to some of those events, but she wasn’t there as my focus; she was my sidekick in the whirlwind of busyness I created.
The truth is, no one asked me to live like that. I was chasing the wrong thing—what the world says matters: productivity, hustle, and achievement. Our culture glorifies busyness as a badge of honor. We measure our worth by how much we accomplish, often at the expense of what truly matters.
Yes, work is important. It provides for our needs and allows us to use our God-given talents. But when it becomes our top priority—over our relationships with family, friends, and God—it’s no longer work; it’s a trap.
Jesus asks a convicting question in Matthew 16:26: “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” The world might tell us that more is always better, but God calls us to focus on what brings eternal value—our faith, our relationships, and the moments that make life meaningful.
Takeaway: Say yes to life’s blessings, not the world’s distractions—God’s priorities always lead to joy.
2. The Cost of Saying No to What Matters Most
When we say yes to work too often, we’re also saying no to the things that matter most—family dinners, bedtime prayers, spontaneous outings, deep conversations, and even moments of spiritual growth. These are the treasures of life, but they’re often the first to get sacrificed when work becomes the priority.
For years, I didn’t realize what it was costing me. My family never got the best of me—they got what was left of me. And what was left was a tired, worn-out, unenergetic person. Sure, I had accolades in my work life. On paper, I was thriving. But at home, my family was falling apart.
Burnout started to creep in on both sides. I wasn’t the primary influence in my daughter’s early years, and I can never get that time back. The emotional toll was heavy. I almost lost my family. At the same time, I became so overwhelmed trying to keep up with my responsibilities that I lost my passion for my job, too. I had taken on so much that it felt like an unending tsunami of tasks, leaving me drained and disheartened.
Ecclesiastes 4:6 has solid advice that could have helped me avoid all of this, “Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.”
Looking back, I remember specific moments when the regret hit hard. A missed awards ceremony, a canceled outing, or a conversation with my daughter that I cut short because I was “too busy.” Those missed moments haunt you, especially when you realize they mattered far more than any work accomplishment ever could.
Can you recall a moment like that? A time when you said no to something or someone you cared about because you thought work needed to come first? If you can, you know the sting of regret that comes with misplaced priorities.
The truth is, constantly prioritizing work not only drains us emotionally but also distances us from the people and purposes that bring real joy and meaning.
Takeaway: “If it won’t matter in eternity, don’t let it steal the moments that matter now.”
3. Redefining Success with God’s Priorities
For nearly two decades, my identity was wrapped up in being a salaried professional. It felt prestigious, like a badge of honor. But the truth is, that “prestige” came with a cost—my time, my energy, and often my joy. So, when I transitioned to an hourly job that required me to clock in, take an hour lunch, and strictly stick to a 40-hour workweek, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it. At first, I worried I’d lost something important. But what I really lost was the constant pressure to overwork. And what I gained? That’s where God started to redefine my idea of success.
Hourly work has its perks. Now, when the lunch alarm goes off, I step away. I’ve started using that hour to focus on things that truly matter—like building the dreams God has laid on my heart, running errands that used to eat into family time, or simply taking an online class I never “had time” to take because I felt a need to work through lunch.
Instead of getting up at 4 a.m. to work on projects I had taken on without time to do them, I now have time to studyGod’s Word, pray, and journal (this blog is a product of those moments!).
I’ve even found time in the evenings and on weekends to pick up a new hobby—learning to play the piano. For the first time in years, my life doesn’t feel like a constant race against time.
This shift taught me something profound: success isn’t about working harder or achieving more. The world tells us success is measured by titles, accomplishments, and income. But the Bible paints a different picture. God’s version of success is rooted in faithfulness, love, and relationships. It’s about seeking His kingdom first, trusting that everything else will fall into place.
Jesus said in Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” When we prioritize our relationship with God, He provides for our needs and realigns our hearts with what truly matters.
Here are a few practical ways to reset your priorities with God at the center:
- Start your day with God. Even 10 minutes in prayer or Scripture can set the tone for a Christ-centered day.
- Schedule family and rest time like appointments. Block off evenings for family dinners or quiet moments.
- Say no without guilt. Learn to let go of obligations that don’t align with your values or God’s priorities.
- Pursue hobbies that bring joy. These are gifts from God that refresh your spirit and give life more balance.
Life isn’t about how much you can do; it’s about living in alignment with God’s purpose for you. Or, to put it another way: “Don’t miss the party God planned for you just because you’re stuck RSVPing to everyone else’s agenda.”
Learning to Say “No” to the World
Life is full of choices, and every “yes” we give to something is also a “no” to something else. The challenge is making sure our yeses align with God’s priorities—not the world’s distractions. When we set boundaries around work, prioritize relationships and faith, and practice gratitude for the moments that matter most, we create space for the life God truly wants for us.
Take a moment to reflect: What’s one thing you’ve said “no” to recently that you now wish you had prioritized? Maybe it was a family dinner, a church event, an outing with a friend, or a quiet moment with your spouse or child. What would it look like to choose differently next time?
Remember: “Don’t say no to the things that matter most because you’re focused on what others have led you to believe matter most.”
Let’s close with a prayer:
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the blessings of family, faith, and meaningful moments. Help us to see clearly what matters most and to say yes to the things that align with Your will. Give us the wisdom to set boundaries, the courage to say no to unnecessary distractions, and the strength to trust in Your provision. Guide our hearts as we seek to live lives centered on You, and teach us to be faithful stewards of the time and relationships You’ve given us.
In Jesus’ name, we pray,
Amen.