It’s amazing how fast time goes by. It’s been almost a month since I first noticed something was wrong with Meg. It feels like it was just yesterday.
The good news is she seems to be tolerating this week’s chemo treatment a lot better than she did the others. This week she’s on a chemo pill. We were actually able to administer it ourselves.
The first few days after taking it, I wasn’t impressed with her energy. That has been a recurring theme since starting treatments. This weekend my family came to visit. My mom brought her dog, Maggie. Maggie is an older mutt dog, but in stature she’s the same size as Meg. Usually you can’t keep Meg from wearing Maggie out, as she harasses Maggie with her puppy-like exuberance. This weekend the duo really didn’t play much. But overall, we all agree Meg seems to be happy still. Just tired.
Yesterday I was really excited because Meg wanted to play more. This evening she even destroyed her new frog toy we bought her just a few weeks ago. :). Don’t get me wrong, her energy isn’t 100% pre-cancer levels. But it’s much closer than it was the last 20 days of treatment.
Friday she heads back to the vet in Texarkana. Then next Friday she and I are heading back to the oncologist in Dallas. Both of those treatments will be the IV chemos. I am not looking forward to them for her sake. But at the same time, I realize she’s a fighter! It just irritates me to know in the long term she’s fighting a losing battle. I stay angry about that…angry that no matter how much I love her, no matter how much food I make special for her, no matter how much I cry about, laugh with, smile at, sing to, whisper secrets to, or all the other special things I do with my most amazing four legged BFF, I can’t save her from lymphoma.
Towards the end of last week she stopped wanting to eat for a few days. At first we were worried it was her appetite going. But we later realized I think she’s no longer a fan of the chicken version of dinner. She still eagerly eats the beef. She will eat the chicken, but I have to sit on the floor beside her to get her to. My goal for when I get off work today is to stock up on everything, as she’ll need more food again by Saturday morning. Thus Brandon and I will be cooking her special beef food tonight!! The one thing I did discover is she has no problem eating the chunk chicken (our very first attempt at dog food…of which we are down to the last 2 days worth in the freezer). So we may try that too. We have been rotating one day beef, one day chicken. And she loves the homemade jerky treats Brandon made.
Good news too, at her last vet visit, the vet told us she’d actually gained 2 pounds! :). Guess that’s not good news for those promoting a no carb diet is good for weight loss! 😉
Before laying down tonight, I just hugged and cuddled with Meg. She actually let me do it a lot longer than normal. I think she knew I needed some extra special Meg time. She’s been a much stronger support for me than I have been for her at times.
It’s now 2:35 a.m. For the past hour Meg has been laying beside me on the sofa as I type this on my phone! :). Sometimes I wish I had her ignorance of the situation. The thing I love most about Meg is how much she loves me! She reminds me to be present in the moments. And right now, she has reminded me to let go of anger, frustration, and negativity, and enjoy the time we have! She is a constant reminder to me that most of the things I stress over are trivial to what really matters in life, spending quality time with those you love & making sure they know you care. Maybe that’s why this happened to her. Maybe her purpose in our lives was to remind us how precious time is and how quickly it passes. Maybe in learning that lesson, her battle with lymphoma won’t be fought in vain.