Note: This is part 1 of a 4 part series entitled “When God Closes Doors”.
Over the course of climbing the career ladder, I have often been stuck between the questions:
1. Am I quitting just shy of the blessing God has in store for me on the other side of my endurance?
or
2. Is God trying to tell me He needs me somewhere else?
The good news is, God has never made it overly difficult for me to know my journey down one path was over and He needed me somewhere else.
After nearly seven years of working at a job I truly loved that turned into a business partnership, I became a mom. The stress of my new family role, coupled with traveling, late nights ensuring obligations were met, and preparing for multiple events every year wore on me. I had begun to question if I was in the right spot, but I didn’t want to give up on all the effort I had poured into a business.
As I was sitting at a Vegas hotel breakfast buffet with my in-laws and husband, who often gave up their own plans to travel beside me to help build my dream while allowing me to still nurse my infant, I received a phone call that put me into tears. It was the culmination of two weeks of similar phone calls. I felt totally defeated, a little angry, and a lot heartbroken. But I also had nearly 100 people waiting in a conference room next door for me to walk in with a smile on my face as I helped our team supply the motivation and wisdom they needed to grow their business.
I dried my tears, put on my big girl panties and smile, and I delivered.
I wish I could say I remember praying to God in that moment. If I did, it was simply one of those self-pity, “God, why is this happening to me?” prayers.
A few hours after breakfast, in between speeches at a conference, a recruiter reached out with a totally unsolicited new job opportunity. It more than doubled my annual salary I was making on a contract and took away my need to travel.
I struggled a bit with trusting God the move was necessary.
After the interview, I actually turned down the job offer. I didn’t want to give up on the business I had helped build. The owner of the other company asked if I would consider freelancing some projects instead. I had quite enjoyed visiting with him during the interview, so I said yes.
As we did the final numbers on our business partnership that year, I realized we had never written down what our split actually looked like. I had one recollection. My business partner had another one. When we finally reached an agreement, I owed the business a lot of money. That happens from time to time in business.
Unfortunately, by choice, I was the sole breadwinner for our family. After months of sacrificing so much time, there I sat, pulling from our savings again.
I called the owner of the other company back and asked if the job was still available. It was.
As I put in my six weeks notice, I struggled with the question, “Why God, is this happening to me?”
The Friday before I was to start my new job, He gave me the first answer. My mom received her cancer diagnosis.
I nervously walked into my new boss’s office and told him if he needed to hire someone else I understood. At some point, I would need to go take care of my mom.
His answer surprised me. He got me a laptop and told me when that day came, all I needed to do was tell him I was hitting the road. He had no doubts in my work ethic and my ability to get things done outside of an office setting. Did I mention, that was Day 1??
As I look back now on my time in the first role, I realize God was equipping me with the tools I needed to work for Him in his Kingdom. I learned how to be an entrepreneur from perhaps the best entrepreneur I could have ever been placed with. I still tell people he was simply the best mentor and friend I could have ever had in my early career. Because of him, I learned how to be a marketer other companies called and paid money to for advice. I was introduced to the man who would become my husband. I got to travel across the country and see so many amazing places. I learned all the skills I would need that looked good on a resume.
But I also developed a few bad habits, the worst of which was putting my family on the back burner for everyone and everything else. Worse yet, to be honest, God wasn’t even in the proverbial kitchen of my life at the time, let alone on the back burner. Instead, I had him tucked away in a drawer in a closet that I peeked into when I couldn’t handle the struggle anymore.
But God knew what He was doing. He knew the bigger picture for my life.
Romans 8:29-30 reads, “For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.”
Tomorrow we will look at how the closing door opened another door that God needed to help grow me in an entirely different way.
Photo: My jet set daughter on one of the many trips she took following me around the country during her first year of life.