I have a problem saying “No”.
I have a problem taking on other people’s problems or projects.
I have a strong tendency to put work first, family second, and God last. That’s completely backwards …I know.
And that’s the problem. I know.
I know that every “Yes” I give out is a “No” to something else. Overtime, those things I have said yes to come at a big cost to the things I have said no to.
By the time my adrenaline wears out at the end of a five or six day work week, I’m toast. All I want to do is sleep, so caffeine powers me through my “off time” (sorta). Sorta means my family gets stuck with the tired version of me trying to play catch-up on my home responsibilities.
That me isn’t always as “friendly” as the PR professional at the office. It isn’t the me that is fun to play with at community events with kids. It’s the completely exhausted me who just wants to get through the final “have-tos” so I can sleep a few hours before doing it all over again.
I’ve been praying (a lot) for guidance and help in these areas over the last few weeks. Mainly because I know my family suffers from my choices to overcommit everywhere except for where it matters most, and so does my relationship with Christ.
A free daily devotional from Family Life (linked below) popped up in my newsfeed last week. I felt compelled to subscribe to it. I read the second day’s message yesterday, and it ended with this question:
“If you tend to overcommit, what areas of sin tend to influence your decision making?”
🧱 Yes … that hit me like a ton of bricks. 🧱
I’d never thought of over-commitment being influenced by sin. But wow!
My answer was pride and idolatry.
Pride because I don’t want to fail at my job. I want others to be proud of me. I don’t want to let my team down. So instead, I let my family and God down. Ouch!
**** Galatians 1:10 ****
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
****
Idolatry because I want the security of not having to worry and struggle for the “things” we didn’t have when I was growing up. But the one “thing” I always had growing up was a mom who was there for every single “thing” I needed her there for. I have my “things” I’m longing for prioritized wrong.
**** Galatians 5:19-21 ****
Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
****
If, like me, you often find yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt on a regular basis because of your tendency to overcommit, I encourage you to find the root of the sin that’s drawing you to not say “No” when you need to.
**** Ephesians 5:15-17 ****
Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
****
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Devotional: I Do Everyday
https://www.familylife.com/i-do-every-day/
It’s Okay to Say “No”
https://tipsofwisdom.com/2022/01/21/its-okay-to-say-no/
Stop Trying to Fix Other People’s Problems
https://tipsofwisdom.com/2022/02/22/stop-trying-to-fix-other-peoples-problems/
