Throughout most of my career, I have been really good at coming up with creative ideas.
Throughout most of my career, I have been semi-good at communicating those ideas.
Throughout most of my career, I have simply let those ideas die the moment they were shot down by others.
Then one day, someone sat me down and asked me about all the areas of my purview.
I had no problem listing the challenges and sharing the ideas that had been met with resistance throughout my career and thus died before they ever had a chance to really get started.
In essence, I had no problem sharing how I had backed down when others fought harder for their ideas than I was willing to fight because I hated conflict.
Of course, at the time, I shared my reasoning for doing so as, “No one else is willing to change or accept new ideas.”
My mentor took notes and listened intently for almost an hour.
A week later, we talked again.
“Last week you gave me a list of excuses for why things weren’t being done, and you blamed them on roadblocks that were in essence others disagreeing with your ideas, is that a fair summary?” he asked.
“Yes,” I responded.
“Why is that?” he asked.
“I guess I have always felt if you swim upstream too much, you’re going to get fired,” I responded. “I’m not a fan of conflict. I guess I have always let more dominant personalities win while finding an area where I can make a difference within the already established norms of the organization.”
There was a pause. 🧐
“Do you believe in a higher calling?” he asked.
“Yes,” I responded.
“Do you mind me asking what that is and to what degree you believe?” he asked.
“God, I responded. I believe in Him but don’t belong to a church or actively study the Bible,” I responded.
“Do you believe He has a purpose for your life?” he asked.
“I do,” I responded.
“Has He ever forsaken you?” he asked.
“There are moments in my life where when I was going through them, I would have said yes. But when I looked back on them, I realized the reasons they happened. So no, He has never forsaken me,” I responded.
The words my mentor said next would profoundly change the way I view my roles in life.
“So what you’re saying is you believe in a higher calling. You believe that He has a purpose for your life. But you’re too afraid to standup for your ideas and fulfill your purpose for fear He will forsake you,” he said.
Long pause.
“Interesting,” he said. “I guess you have a choice to make. You can step up and lead and fight for the ideas and beliefs you know will make a difference in the places you’ve been strategically placed by Him, or you can step out of the way so God can put someone with the willingness to serve their purpose in your place.”
Today, I ponder those words on a regular basis.
As I look back over a professional career now spanning almost two decades, I can vividly remember meetings where ideas I should have fought harder for were overrun by people who were more comfortable doing what they had always done simply because I let my pride (aka lack of self-confidence) stand in my way of fighting for what I believed was right.
I had blamed the inability to achieve my ideas (and in essence live out my purpose) on invisible roadblocks that were actually deeply rooted in the sin of pride. My own fear of being rejected, or worse yet, forsaken in for form of termination, had allowed me to hide behind a curtain of excuses that all boiled down to avoiding conflict at the sake of achieving results.
My mentor ended with one more thought provoking statement…
“And you would rather sit comfortably in your chair, avoiding conflict, knowing you aren’t living out the purpose God put you in your circle of influence to fulfill, than to allow Him to shut a door if it’s no longer the place for you and walk through the next door He will open. So do you really believe God has a purpose for your life and He won’t forsake you?”
**** Psalm 9:10 ****
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
****
Something for all of us to ponder.
What’s holding you back is not external. What’s holding you back is internal. The good news is, that means you have the power to trust in God, step outside of your comfort zone, let go of your pride (and gain some self confidence) to humbly fulfill your purpose.