Have you ever looked at another couple and thought their marriage was perfect? 🤔
Or maybe you looked at a group of friends or another family unit and wondered why your friendships or family unit weren’t as solid? 🤔
Perhaps you have thought you weren’t cut out to be a leader because you always seemed to have problems with those you led, while others never seemed to have problems. 🤔
Spoiler alert … no relationships are perfect, but there is a strategy you can use in all of your relationships to help get them as close to perfect as possible.
It starts with diligence.
Diligence means you are committed to putting careful and persistent work into your relationships without quitting or getting stressed. You must practice diligence when things are going right in your relationships, and you must practice it when there is strife.
But how do you do that?
****Colossians 3:12-14****
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
****
In the extra resources for ReEngage this week, Ryan McCarthy shared three steps
STEP 1: REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!
You are dearly loved by God.
You are wholly known by God.
You are chosen by God.
You are holy to God.
God’s love for you is unconditional. He shows grace. He forgives. He has the ability to lift up the humble and to humble the proud.
Does your heart ever feel contempt or resentment when someone isn’t showing you the love you feel you deserve? When they are being unjust or unfair, or when you’re on the receiving end of gossip, malice, or just simply being ignored?
Sure it does.
Yet everyday as Christians we expect God to forgive us and show us grace for the sins we have committed. If God can forgive us and move on, who are we to not forgive those around us and show them unconditional love?
STEP 2: REMEMBER WHO OTHERS ARE
They are dearly loved by God.
They are wholly known by God.
They are chosen by God.
They are holy to God.
God doesn’t villainize you, so you shouldn’t villainize. God doesn’t play victim, so you shouldn’t play victim.
Instead, it is God’s desire to help you grow more and more into the person that Christ died on the cross to save you to be. Imagine how much different all of your relationships would be if you recognized your role in all of them was to help others do the same.
STEP 3: LIVE ACCORDINGLY
We are called to love accordingly. It won’t be easy because we are all sinners interacting with other sinners. We all have problems. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world.
But there is a formula we can use to practice diligence in our relationships. Whenever we feel conflict, we should pause and ask…
1. Am I showing compassion?
2. Am I practicing kindness?
3. Am I exhibiting humility?
4. Am I acting in gentleness?
5. Am I exuding patience?
6. Am I allowing forbearance?
7. Am I giving forgiveness?
If we apply this checklist to our relationships, we have no choice but to see them grow. In doing so, we will also grow to become more like the people God has called us to become.
Click here to watch the full lesson:
