Ever wish there was a magic wand you could wave to “fix” your spouse, your kids, your boss, your coworkers, or your friends?
While there isn’t a magic wand, there is a simple solution to fix all of your relationships, and the good news is that you control it because it starts with changing YOU!
In his message at Trinity Baptist Church today, Kent Mathias spoke about the guidance we find in Luke 6:41-45 (scripture below).
The bad news is, often the hardest person to change and forgive is yourself. That’s because it’s tough to focus on you and find your own flaws.
For most of us, it’s easy to point out the things others do wrong. By doing so, we think we deflect the focus on our own sins. By doing so, we also fail to realize we destroy our relationships with others.
There’s another thing destroying our relationships that we have to recognize. Too often we assign others responsibility for our sins. We blame others for making us angry, for making us jealous, for making us do things we aren’t proud of doing.
The reality is that our responses, our words, our habits, our attitudes, our actions, and even our nonverbal reactions are all reflections of our hearts. The way we respond to things and the way we treat others is our fault and our fault alone.
- No one can “make you angry”. Only you control that response.
- No one can “try your patience”. Only you control that response.
- No one can “make you jealous”. Only you control that response.
Your propensity to respond in a negative way when things happen is the thing in your heart that you need to change.
A great starting point for discovering where to change your heart and grow your relationships is found in Romans 12:9-21 (scripture below).
As you read each thing written in Romans, ask God to show you how to change and apply those lessons to your relationships.
Remember, it is not your place to condemn others. Only God can do that because only He knows the motives of their hearts.
Always be humble. You are a sinner, no different than the other sinners you want to pass judgment on.
Remember that you will get out of your relationships what you put into them. Relationships are an echo chamber of your effort and your heart.
If your words are judgmental, bitter, or angry, your relationships will reflect that. If your words are compassionate, loving, and affirmations of spiritual truth, your relationships will reflect that.
To truly love others and build great relationships, you have to be in God’s word. You have to apply it to your heart. When you struggle in your relationships, you also have to apply God’s word to those struggles.
Remember, if you want to grow and fix your relationships, you have to grow and fix YOU first.
****Luke 6:41-45****
Why do you notice the small piece of dust that is in your friend’s eye, but you don’t see the big piece of wood that is in your own eye? You say to your friend, ‘Let me get that little piece of dust out of your eye.’ Why do you say this? Can’t you see that big piece of wood in your own eye? You are a hypocrite. First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to get the dust out of your friend’s eye. “A good tree does not produce bad fruit. And a bad tree does not produce good fruit. Every tree is known by the kind of fruit it produces. You won’t find figs on thorny weeds. And you can’t pick grapes from thornbushes! Good people have good things saved in their hearts. That’s why they say good things. But those who are evil have hearts full of evil, and that’s why they say things that are evil. What people say with their mouths comes from what fills their hearts.
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****Romans 12:9-21****
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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