Have you ever reached a crossroads in your life?
Have you found yourself standing in one of those moments when you know everything could dramatically change, good or bad, if you go down that road?
Those who know me best know that outside of the last five months, for the last decade or so, I haven’t gone to church. In fact, when people asked me about my faith, I felt confident in saying the words I had learned in my Sociology of Religion class at Edinburgh University, “I believe without belonging”.
Little did I know as I said them how little power or confidence there really was in those words. The truth is, I was afraid to go to church. It was easier, I thought, to not have one more thing on my to do list each week. I knew God existed. That was surely enough.
As I let my heart believe those aforementioned words, instead of chasing and living a life to serve God, I chased a life of self righteousness. A life where I defined what worldly success looked like, instead of what success looked like to be a disciple of God.
**** 1 Timothy 6:9 ****
“But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.”
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Work defined my success, and little did I realize how the pride I had around that was destroying the most important things in my life … my relationship with God and my relationship with my family.
At one point this year, it was safe to say I had redefined what mattered most to me, and my life showed it. My family suffered as I chased my pride in work and friendships around work instead of God and the family he had blessed me with. While I struggled internally, knowing some of the choices I was making weren’t right, I couldn’t seem to avoid the temptation.
But once you find God and accept Him into your life, He doesn’t let you down. About the time I felt my life was falling apart, God led our family back to church. And out of the hundreds of churches in our area, he led us to Trinity Baptist Church in Texarkana.
****1 Corinthians 10:13****
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
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From day one, that church felt like home. And as I started to realize how much I needed to be in my Bible, I learned from an amazing group of people how to actually open my Bible and study it. I learned how God uses His word to guide us, if we only open it and listen.
One day in July, the church played a video message about a new class they were offering for only the second time. It was called “ReEngage”. It was free to attend. One testimony in the video resonated with me, and I cried all day. It was as though God was speaking directly to me.
**** Romans 8:28 ****
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
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My husband and I started the class this fall, and in addition to growing closer together as a couple, we have also grown closer to God. Both relationships have never been stronger. I have also never been happier, more fulfilled, and rid of anxiety.
Yesterday, while driving home, I literally passed a crossroads that defined my summer. As I reached it, a flood of things could have crossed my mind. But I had just turned on KLOVE, and the song that played was “Look What You’ve Done” (words below and a YouTube link if you don’t know it).
The timing of it all was a God moment for me. He knows that song is my theme song right now. For I know the power of God. The enemy tried everything to win and pull me away, but God didn’t let him. He pulled me back into church, where He knew all along I needed to be. He surrounded me with other amazing Christians to guide and rebuild my spiritual faith. In turn, He made me reprioritize my life.
The details of my 2021 story are amazing in all the ways God showed up. The reality is, they’re just as amazing in my 1982-2020 stories, but I didn’t pay attention most of the time. If you’re someone struggling, I’d love to sit down with you and share it. Because even in the darkest moments, I know God was always there.
More importantly, if you’re not in church, I hope you’ll find a church home. It took me 39 years to understand how important it is to BELONG as much as it is to BELIEVE.
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LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE
By: Tasha Layton
Look what you’ve done
How could you fall so far?
You should be ashamed of yourself
So I was ashamed of myself
The lies I believed
They got some roots that run deep
I let ’em take a hold of my life
I let ’em take control of my life
Standing in Your presence, Lord
I can feel You diggin’ all the roots up
I feel Ya healin’ all my wounds up
All I can say is, “Hallelujah”
Look what You’ve done, look what You’ve done in me
You spoke Your truth into the lies I let my heart believe
Look at me now, look how You made me new
The enemy did everything that he could do
Oh, but look what You’ve done
Suddenly all the shame is gone
I thought I was too broken, now I see
You were breaking new ground inside of me
Standing in Your presence, Lord
I can feel You diggin’ all my roots up
I feel Ya healin’ all my wounds up
All I can say is, “Hallelujah”
Look what You’ve done, look what You’ve done in me
You spoke Your truth into the lies I let my heart believe
Look at me now, look how You made me new
Oh, the enemy did everything that he could do
Oh, but look what You’ve done
On the cross, in a grave
With a stone rolled away
All my debt, it was paid
Look what You’ve done
In my heart, in my mind
In my soul, in my life
With my hands lifted high, I’m singing
Look what You’ve done, look what You’ve done in me
You spoke Your truth into the lies I let my heart believe
Look at me now, look how You made me new
Oh, the enemy did everything that he could do
Oh, but look what You’ve done
On the cross, in a grave
With a stone rolled away
All my debt, it was paid
Look what You’ve done
In my heart, in my mind
In my soul, in my life
With my hands lifted high, I’m singing
Look what You’ve done
