I started a new series today called “Grace Based Discipline” by Karis Kimmel Murray. Ironically, I just taught this week about showing Professional Grace in the Workplace, so the title stood out to me. The lesson applies to both how we respond to our children’s mistakes and our employee’s mistakes because in both cases, we have been called on to lead.
LESSON 1: HOW YOU RESPOND
Ever responded to a fire in your neighborhood and realized everyone around you was panicking or reacting, and they really didn’t know what to do?
Then first responders arrived on scene.
Ever watched them?
When others react, they respond without panic or emotion. They just know what to do and make a positive difference.
First responders aren’t born, they’re made. The same with good parents (and leaders).
Like first responders, when our children (or employees) have bad behavior, we need to respond to it rather than react to it. Going into an emotionally reactive mode makes us lose our cool. When we do this, we are reacting to emotions like being personally embarrassed, hurt, angry or frustrated.
Grace based parents (or leaders) make a conscious choice not to take their child’s (or employee’s) behavior personal, even if it is. By doing so, we take our victimhood and exchange it for leadership.
God separates our behaviors from our hearts. We should do the same for our kids (or employees).
Close your eyes and imagine your child (or employee) in front of you with their angry outbursts wrapped around their feet like a rope, their mean words hanging like weights around their neck, their disrespect covering their eyes like a blindfold.
In your hands, you have a basket where you can remove each of those things and take them to another room. Then return and look at your child (or employee) without all of those behaviors. See the child (or employee) instead with their full potential to embrace a better future by your response and leadership. You will still need to correct and deal with the behaviors, but first, you have to be able to see your child’s (or employee’s) heart.
It’s our job to direct our children towards a responsible and mature adulthood. We have to do the hard work that God’s grace requires us to do.
At some point we all reach the end of our skills and abilities as parents (or leaders) when it comes to parenting our kids (or leading our employees). Our kids don’t need perfect parents (and our employees don’t need perfect leaders). They just need grace based parents (and leaders). We can pause and pray and ask God to give us wisdom and empower us to lead with His love.
Psalm 103:8 reminds us:
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.
Credits:
Click here to listen to the full episode of Lesson 2 of Grace Based Discipline.
Original photo created by senivpetro at www.freepik.com.
