Tomorrow is already a bittersweet day for me … and for Miss Meg-Meg. It’s so hard to believe that six months have come and gone since we learned Meg had canine lymphoma. If you’ve followed my periodic blog about her progress, you know we started with weekly treatments. For the last several treatments we’ve been going bi-monthly. Tomorrow is the last treatment!!
There’s a lot of great news to report. Since Brandon and I both figured out the true combination of medicine to give her, she really hasn’t been overly sick with the last several treatments. That has been a blessing…for all of us…but especially for Miss Meg.
I’m so glad this is the last time she’ll have to get chemo. I hate how it makes her really lethargic for the first two to three days after she takes it. But I love it when her energy bounces back by the end of the week. And I hate how guilty I feel walking her into the vet on Monday mornings, her eagerly bouncing out of the car as if to say, “Where are we going today mom!! I’m so excited.” Only to pick her up in the afternoon … and while she’s excited to see us, the effects of the chemo on her energy breaks my heart. I know deep down we’ve done what we believe is best for her, but the guilt of knowing the chemo is only temporary still nags at my heart.
So if tomorrow is her last treatment, why is it bittersweet?
It’s sweet because we know that the rest of Meg’s life will be lived as a dog. She won’t have to spend several days a month at the vet, being sedated, getting chemo, and then getting her energy back. I look forward to that. She won’t have to have special “cheese balls” each morning and evening filled with pills to keep her stomach from being upset. She’ll still be spoiled rotter with jerky and frozen-salmon-pop treats, and she’ll still eat better than most dogs on the planet, as Brandon and I will continue to cook her beef-and-turkey casserole that we’ve totally perfected now.
It’s bitter because we know that the cancer will come back. We just don’t know when. And I already dread that day because we’ve made the decision not to put her through a second round of chemo. We know without a doubt that is the right decision for her. But it will be a hard day when that day comes. I’ve never had a best friend that I love the way I love Miss Meg! 🙂 Over the last six months, once I accepted chemo was the best option for her, knowing that she was on chemo kept me reassured that something was keeping the lymphoma at bay. After tomorrow, it will just be Meg’s pure willpower and God’s plan for her in our lives that will keep her here. And I know I have to trust in that and in it’s timing. We’ve been so fortunate to have Miss Meg in our lives since April 2010!!
I know that everything in life happens for a reason. Miss Meg has been my preparation for becoming a mom some day down the road. From getting up at 2:00 a.m. when she’s sick, to making special food to keep her healthy, to picking up an abundance of dog toys every evening. That’s probably my favorite part of being Meg’s mom … picking up the dog toys. Because they symbolize the fun she has each day. And to me, that’s the true meaning of life. It’s so funny to watch her at night as we lay on the sofa. She brings us a toy. The moment we stop playing with it, she goes and picks out another toy. She just wants to make sure we’re having fun, and that’s her way of ensuring it. By the time we are ready for bed, it’s safe to say there will be at least 15+ dog toys spread across the floor. And many times we shuffle between which ones we’ll play with.
My other very favorite part of being Meg’s mom is her kisses. She gives the best wet kisses each morning right across my face. A majority of the world will find that absolutely disgusting. But the dog lovers of the world will know exactly why each of those kisses is magical! I look forward to every single kiss … especially first thing in the morning. I believe without a doubt that it is impossible to start a day off bad when Miss Meg showers me each morning with love. And she won’t let us go to bed at night without giving us what Brandon calls, “Night Night Love” or “Night Night Sugars”.
Another thing I love is how each night when I take a shower, it doesn’t matter if Brandon is home or not, Meg is waiting on the bed outside our bathroom for me to come out. And as soon as I walk out the door, that tail just starts wagging. Sometimes she’s over eager for me to get out of the shower, so she’s waiting for me in the bathroom as I pull back the curtain. She makes me laugh at those moments because she begins to attempt to dry me off as I towel dry. She’s so silly, and so much fun!!
Without knowing it, she’s helped Brandon and I realize we’ll be okay as parents to a human-baby down the road! 🙂 We’ve managed to figure out taking her to the daycare (her Grammy Cammy & Kickey’s House) each day when we both have to work. We’ve figured out how to manage doctor’s appointments between complex work schedules. We’ve figured out how to survive arguments about proper medical care. We’ve figured out how to love and put her first at times. Yep, I think it’s safe to say that should we be fortunate enough to be blessed with a little one down the road, the lessons Miss Meg has already taught us will not go in vain! 🙂
We are so very hopeful that Meg has a long remission!! There average remission time is 6-20 months. I’m praying for the 20+ months!! But no matter what, I’m thankful for the time on earth God gave us with Miss Meg!!
The only thing I’ve yet to do that I’ve put on Miss Meg’s bucket list is take her to the beach. So that’s my goal for this summer. I read about a beach in Florida that is not only do friendly, but the resort allows dog’s in the cabins, too! I really want this summer vacation to be a summer vacation where the 3 of us let Meg experience the beach. She loves swimming in the lake, so I really think she’ll enjoy the ocean as much as I do! I could be wrong … we’ll see!
The only other “must do” plan for Meg this spring/summer is to take her out on my sailboat that her dad bought all of us last April! We’ve yet to take it on the water, but I think she’s really going to enjoy that!! Hopefully by May we’ll have that item crossed off the bucket list, too!
Well, that’s the update on Miss Meg!! If you’re reading this because your dog has lymphoma, too, feel free to e-mail me or comment below any questions you may have that we may have experience with!